Mother-in-law schemes with a Rabbi

Military news:

A Navy command master chief ... has resigned, the service announced Tuesday. ...

Carter told sailors assembled aboard the carrier April 30 to hear a speech from Vice President Mike Pence to "clap like we're at a strip club" when Pence arrived.

I hate to think what would happen if our military had to fight a real war.

Slate advice:

Dear Care and Feeding,

My fiancé was raised as a reform Jew; I am a casual Christian. We have mutually decided not to circumcise our forthcoming son. His family is, to put it lightly, up in arms about our not hosting a bris. (“Because it’s a Jewish rite of passage!”)

I’ve tried reasoning that I won’t be up for hosting 20-plus people seven days after giving birth; I’ve tried explaining that we just won’t be circumcising; I’ve tried making the argument that it’s not sterile for a random rabbi to cut our newborn on the dining room table. I’ve done everything short of saying “Because I don’t want to host a penis party to expose my son to the world.”

Through my fiancé’s sister, we were warned of my future mother-in-law’s plan to host a “surprise” bris at our house a week after the birth! I’m ready to fly off the handle. This isn’t completely out of character for her, but it seems like a new level of crazy and violation. My fiancé has intervened in the past, but never on something of this magnitude. I feel that as the baby’s mother, this is not a situation I should just leave to him.

How do I confront her about this and, God forbid, deal with a “surprise bris” if family and a rabbi show up at our door in a few months?

—We Do Not Want a Bris

They are not even married yet, and the Jewish mother-in-law is scheming to mutilate the baby's penis! Is that how things work in Jewish families? The Jewish women control their men by making sure that they lose their manhood at an early age.

The advice is to assure her that "you plan on keeping his Jewish heritage alive in his life." Better advice would be to inform the rabbi that any such attempt will result in him going to prison for mayhem. And read Portnoy's Complaint and put a cross and a swastika on the front door.