I might take some heat for this one, but I'm not a big fan of couples therapy -- mostly because I haven't seen it associated with a very high rate of success. In this episode, I give several reasons why this may be the case, and argue that -- if therapy is needed -- most issues can be more productively addressed in individual counseling. It's very hard to tell the truth that one person can hear; it's almost impossible to tell the truth that two people can hear simultaneously.In short, there is a myth that relationship problems are caused by a lack of communication, and that they can be solved by a counselor recommending compromises. But communication is almost never the problem, and compromise almost never the solution.
There are some people who say that they were helped, but they probably helped themselves and would have done better without the therapy.
Conventional wisdom is that all psycho therapy is good for you, unless it is directed at normal sexual feelings, which is so objectionable that some states ban it. But that is not so simple, as Joy Pullman writes:
Last week, the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear a challenge to 26 state laws at least partly based on studies claiming “conversion therapy” increases LGBT Americans’ suicide risks. Yet every existing study that makes this claim is seriously scientifically unsound, several research reviews recently found.So the psychotherapy that works is banned, and the harmful psychotherapy is encouraged.
Not only do all these studies depend on unscientific methods, but the data from one highly cited such study actually shows the opposite of what its authors claim, says a sociologist who reran the study’s data with standard scientific controls the authors omitted.
“The evidence shows that SOCE [sexual orientation change efforts] is fairly effective at preventing suicide attempts,” said Paul Sullins, a research professor at Catholic University and senior researcher for the Ruth Institute, in a press conference released Friday.
Almost all psychotherapists are in on this scam. You may think that you know a good one, but I doubt it.