Male Female Relationships are Broken

I found this comment online:

Riddle me this. It's clear what is expected of men by women. Provision, protection, be the traditional man, be 6ft tall, make 200K/yr, etc...but a woman’s responsibilities are framed less as obligations to a man and more as obligations to herself: to know her worth, maintain her standards, establish boundaries, preserve her independence, prioritize her emotional well-being, and avoid settling for a relationship that doesn’t meet her needs.

She is encouraged to expect initiative, generosity, emotional availability, financial stability, respect, and consistent effort from a prospective man, **while retaining the freedom to decide how much she wishes to contribute financially, domestically, and emotionally**. Traditional expectations of femininity, such as nurturing, homemaking, accommodating a partner, and prioritizing his needs, are increasingly treated as personal choices rather than duties. The resulting cultural message, particularly visible in dating advice and social media, often defines a good man by what he provides to a woman, while defining a good woman by how well she advocates for herself. The contract has been broken and until this dynamic changes to a healthy, reciprocal exchange between men and women, we will continue to drift.

There is some truth to this.

This new video argues that this broken system explains the declining fertility in industrialized countries:

The Birthrate Collapse is a Prisoner's Dilemma

Everyone has a theory about why people stopped having kids. The economy. Housing. Phones. Feminism. Men. Governments have bet hundreds of billions on those theories and lost every time.

This is a different explanation. It doesn't start with money, it doesn't need a villain, and once you see it you'll see it in every couple you know, including the one you're in.

The uncomfortable part isn't the cause. It's what it means if nothing can fix it.

In particular, fertility cannot be raised by lowering housing costs or giving monetary incentives. It says men and women are happiest and most productive in a stable long-term marriage with kids, and millions of couples achieve that. However the risks to both men and women are such that it is rational for them to stay single.

The basic problem is that female is to mate with the highest-status male. Cinderella wants to marry the Prince, even though she is a poor peasant.

Traditionally, girls were constrained by the available boys. A girl would go with a good choice, and social pressures would keep them together.

Now an average woman in her 20s can go on short-term dates with high-value men. For a couple of weeks, she can have the excitement of landing a prince -- handsome, rich, athletic, tall, or whatever else she desires. A woman with unconstrained sexuality quickly gets wildly unrealistic expectations. The mid-level guy in her social class is no longer good enough for her.

That is the theory, anyway.