Suing over an $8 snail plate

A Marin County California newspaper reports:

Comes now in Marin Superior Court, small claims division, the case of Chadwick St.-OHarra and Steve Righetti, who are suing the Seafood Peddler restaurant in San Rafael over an alleged incident of what their lawsuit called "exploding" escargot that marred Righetti's birthday dinner in June.

Plaintiffs allege the gastronomical gastropods burst from their plate when cocktail forks were applied, resulting in a spray of hot garlic butter on their faces and polo shirts.

St.-OHarra, a 59-year-old Danville resident, claims the butter got into one of his tear ducts, causing temporary vision impairment. Righetti, 59, a San Rafael businessman who lives in Sonoma, claims the side of his nose was squirted.

"I was humiliated," said Righetti, who owns an automotive shop near the landmark Canal area restaurant. "I thought, 'Do I need this on my birthday?'"

This story encapsulates the decline of America. Marin County which is known as a home for superannuated hippies, lying around in hot tubs listening to Grateful Dead tapes with a joint in one hand and a glass of Chardonnay in the other. Oddly punctuated name. A man taking another man out to dinner to celebrate his birthday. Men eating snails. Suing over an $8 plate of snails. Whining about splattered garlic butter. A man worrying about a stain on a polo shirt.

Almost as bad are the complaints of those stranded on a cruise ship for three days:

Cruise passengers endured stench, cold food

At that distance from land, it was out of cell phone range for much of the ordeal. The fire left the ship without air conditioning, hot water or hot food. The casino was closed and, for a time, so were the bars. The swimming pool was off-limits because the pumps wouldn't work. ...

"Let's put it this way: For me, this was my worst nightmare, my phobia, to be on the sea in a ship and get stuck," Warschauer said.

Having to eat cold food on a cruise ship for three days is not even a nightmare. I'd like to trade these wimps to Chile for the miners from the 2010 Copiapó mining accident.